triathlete, war gamer, martial artist, son, friend
and a man discovering life.

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Dreams and reality

by carlos on January 24, 2013

in Personal

I’m back at Team Clinic and I’m feeling like the old saying “the more things change, the more they stay the same”. It’s reaffirming and scary to have set the goals you did. It is reaffirming because after the accident and the surgery I was really hesitant to try again. Pacific Grove, as good as it was, was a wake up call in terms if being smart about how you push yourself. AMBBR, Pacific Grove and the San Diego Triathlon Challenge are my best estimate regarding where i’m going to be financially, mentally and emotionally by those points of the year. As to the why, i think you know the answer and then again the new answer may surprise you I need to get back to the quest about limits… It’ll be more of a challenge but hopefully I’ve spaced it smart enough. But it’s also about balance… I have [Read Full Post]

Nostalgia

by carlos on January 15, 2013

in Personal,Reinventing myself

I’m having a serious case of nostalgia today. It started Sunday with one of the most surreal dreams I’ve had in like forever…. It was an L-shaped pool and I was swimming and diving like I used to when I was little in Chile. For some reason I had asked a little kid who was sitting by the pool and he kept pushing me to move forward and to hurry up because he had other things to do… It took me back to when I was little and had first learned how to swim… who would have thought I would end up swimming, biking and running on triathlons There is a U2 song that has always reminded of my dad. It made me think of the fact that his hair was white by the time he was 40 (and I’m 2 years away from that) and how much my feelings [Read Full Post]

2012 in Review

by carlos on January 2, 2013

in Personal

2012 has been an interesting year as far as events are concerned. Relationships, friendships and so many other things have changed and evolved over the past 12 months that is hard to pick one as a starting point. I started the year in a knee stroller with my leg cut open in two parts to finally fix the mess from my accident in 2011. It’s not fully healed but it was enough to see me through my 6th triathlon and my 3rd event with TNT. It wasn’t as good as I thought it’d be but considering all the crap I went through it was as good as it was going to be. Relationship front: another clusterfuck year. Started and ended a relationship that was important enough for me to be hurt by how it ended. The fact that I didn’t have my mom’s support for the first time didn’t help. [Read Full Post]

Poem 6 (and translation)

by carlos on December 7, 2012

in Personal

From

Reflections

by carlos on December 7, 2012

in Personal

It’s been ages since I’ve sat on my favorite bench on the SJSU campus. Right by the entrance to Sweeney Hall where i did most of my SJSU schooling. Under the classrooms on the second floor… right next to the elevators and the soda machines (man do they look different) I look around and have never felt older… most of the kids around here appear to still be in high school for crying out loud or it may be simply that I’m getting old and I’m starting to miss the carefree days when being here didn’t mean I was running away from something or someone and shiai at the dojo and good company was all I needed to be happy. It’s been almost a week since things ended and her words come back over and over to haunt me. Was I right in what I said? Did I do the [Read Full Post]

I had forgotten how hard it is to be 110% into what you’re doing and what your job conflicts with your life outside. I started my new job on the 22nd and I’ve already had to turn down more recruiters than I had to deal with in months. The last one broke my heart… I had never been offered a Docbook related engagement and I got one yesterday. Crap is the only thing that comes to mind right now… That and my cussing the timing gods for how they laugh at me. Beyond the consulting issue things have been going surprisingly well. It hasn’t been the monster transition that I was afraid of… It hasn’t been easy but it hasn’t been terribly difficult. I think working with Scott and the DLT team set me up for success in this adventure. It’ll be interesting to see how things evolve moving forward.

Feeling Strangely Peaceful

by carlos on October 9, 2012

in Personal

I had forgotten what it feels like not to get early on Saturday just to get the pool on time for a workout and I had forgotten what it was like not to be on a schedule for training or anything really. Season is barely over and I’m having my letdown phase until I can figure out what I’m doing next… STP and swimming are starting to sound like the winners for 2013 and then IM something (and IM 70.3 Canada and maybe a couple 70.3 races somewhere)…. the promise I made to myself of my first IM before 40 is still on but now that I can calmly reflect on PG this year (see the race report if you want to know more) I realize that the “Ironman at all cost” mentality is not a healthy one either. Do what you want to do not what you feel obligated [Read Full Post]

This video has always motivated me. It may not be an Ironman but the strength and determination are always the same. Don’t quit, don’t give up Yep… it’s been 16 weeks since I started training, 54 weeks (and a few days) since I broke my leg and now I’m standing (well, laying down) at the hotel where it all began 3 years ago. This is my 3rd TNT event (PG ’09, IM 70.3 Augusta ’10 are the two prior ones) and my 6th triathlon overall (the 3 team events, SVMBT ’09, Big Kahuna ’09 and Rev 3 Knoxville Olympic in 2010). Yet I’m strangely happy and serene… it’s as if the past year hadn’t happen. I am not the person who did PG olympic in 3:40:42 but I feel that I’m just as new as I was back then. I’ve proved to myself that I am resilient and that I [Read Full Post]

Crap and assorted sundries

by carlos on August 2, 2012

in Personal

BIGGEST TEAHUPOO EVER from UnFuzzy on Vimeo.