Has it really been 10 years?


"One of the first things that Christopher and Amanda and I had done when we first showed up for the first season of the show was we walked up to where they were still building the S.G.C. set. We walked up to where the briefing room was going to be, and we looked down at this huge set and this huge prop Stargate, and we all just sat there stunned. It was like, 'Wow, this is real. They're building this for us. This is the beginning of something amazing.'

So we made a point, at the very end, after we'd wrapped, of running back upstairs to that briefing room and taking a final look. It was bittersweet, but at the same time it was a nice way to bookend the emotional journey we'd been on for a decade."

Michael Shanks, SciFi Wire

http://www.gateworld.net/news/features/stargate_sg-1_farewell.shtml speaks more and fuller than I ever could about Stargate SG-1. I've never been a huge fan of the show but, somehow, it always managed to keep me intrigued enough to keep watching.

Watch out what you say…

'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' case limits student rights

Story Highlights
  • High Court considers students' First Amendment rights
  • Case involves student's "Bong hits 4 Jesus" banner at event
  • School argues principal had right to punish student for drug message
  • Student, now 24, said he was not promoting drugs

By Bill Mears
CNN Washington Bureau

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The Supreme Court ruled against a former high school student Monday in the "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" banner case -- a split decision that limits students' free speech rights.

Joseph Frederick was 18 when he unveiled the 14-foot paper sign on a public sidewalk outside his Juneau, Alaska, high school in 2002.

Principal Deborah Morse confiscated it and suspended Frederick. He sued, taking his case all the way to the nation's highest court.

The justices ruled 6-3 that Frederick's free speech rights were not violated by his suspension over what the majority's written opinion called a "sophomoric" banner.

"It was reasonable for (the principal) to conclude that the banner promoted illegal drug use-- and that failing to act would send a powerful message to the students in her charge," Chief Justice John Roberts wrote for the court's majority.

Roberts added that while the court has limited student free speech rights in the past, young people do not give up all their First Amendment rights when they enter a school.

Roberts was supported by Justices Antonin Scalia, Anthony Kennedy, Clarence Thomas, Stephen Breyer, and Samuel Alito. Breyer noted separately he would give Morse qualified immunity from the lawsuit, but did not sign onto the majority's broader free speech limits on students.

In dissent, Justice John Paul Stevens said, "This case began with a silly nonsensical banner, (and) ends with the court inventing out of whole cloth a special First Amendment rule permitting the censorship of any student speech that mentions drugs, so long as someone could perceive that speech to contain a latent pro-drug message."

He was backed by Justices David Souter and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

At issue was the discretion schools should be allowed to limit messages that appear to advocate illegal drug use. "Bong," as noted in the appeal filed with the justices, "is a slang term for drug paraphernalia."

The incident occurred in January 2002 just outside school grounds when the Olympic torch relay was moving through the Alaska capital on its way to the Salt Lake City, Utah, Winter Games.

Though he was standing on a public sidewalk, the school argued Frederick was part of a school-sanctioned event, because students were let out of classes and accompanied by their teachers.

Morse ordered the senior to take down the sign, but he refused. That led to a 10-day suspension for violating a school policy on promoting illegal drug use.

Frederick filed suit, saying his First Amendment rights were infringed. A federal appeals court in San Francisco agreed, concluding the school could not show Frederick had disrupted the school's educational mission by showing a banner off campus.

Former independent counsel Kenneth Starr argued for the principal that a school "must be able to fashion its educational mission" without undue hindsight from the courts.

Morse, who attended arguments in March, told CNN at the time: "I was empowered to enforce the school board's written policies at that time aimed at keeping illegal substances out of the school environment."

As for Frederick, he is halfway across the globe, teaching English to students in China.

Now 24, he told reporters in March that he displayed the banner in a deliberate attempt to provoke a response from principal Morse, by whom he had been disciplined previously. But Frederick claimed his message of free speech is very important to him, even if the wording of the infamous banner itself was not.

"I find it absurdly funny," he said. "I was not promoting drugs. ... I assumed most people would take it as a joke."

Find this article at:

A strange kind of peace

Sitting on the dock of the bay
Otis Redding

Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the 'Frisco bay
'Cause I've had nothing to live for
And look like nothin's gonna come my way

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time



Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Following, Leading and Walking Along

Follow you down
Gin Blossoms (Congratulations, I'm sorry)

Did you see the sky
I think it means that we've been lost
Maybe one less time is all we need
I cant really help it if my tongues all tied in knots
Jumping off a bridge, its just the farthest that I've ever been

Anywhere you go, Ill follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, Ill follow you down
Ill follow you down, but not that far

I know were headed somewhere, I can see how far we've come
But still I cant remember anything
Lets not do the wrong thing and Ill swear it might be fun
Its a long way down when all the knots we've tied have come undone

Anywhere you go, Ill follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, Ill follow you down
Ill follow you down, but not that far

How you gonna ever find your place
Running in an artificial pace
Are they gonna find us lying face down in the sand
So what the hell now, we've already been forever damned

Anywhere you go Ill follow you down

B5 Wisdom

The universe speaks in many languages, but only one voice.
The language is not Narn, or Human, or Centauri, or Gaim or Minbari
It speaks in the language of hope
It speaks in the language of trust
It speaks in the language of strength and the language of compassion
It is the language of the heart and the language of the soul.
But always it is the same voice
It is the voice of our ancestors, speaking through us,
And the voice of our inheritors, waiting to be born
It is the small, still voice that says
We are one
No matter the blood
No matter the skin
No matter the world
No matter the star:
We are one
No matter the pain
No matter the darkness
No matter the loss
No matter the fear
We are one
Here, gathered together in common cause, we agree to recognize the
singular truth and this singular rule:
That we must be kind to one another
Because each voice enriches us and ennobles us and each voice lost
diminishes us.
We are the voice of the Universe, the soul of creation, the fire
that will light the way to a better future.
We are one.
We are one."

After delivering The Declaration of Principles to Sheridan G'Kar added: "Whoever speaks for the Alliance speaks for many. Consequently this contains the first page of every holy book of every race that has joined the new Alliance. Whoever speaks for the Alliance does so with the understanding that it is the inalienable right of every sentient being to live free, to address wrongs within their own society without fear of retribution. To believe as their conscience requires in matters of faith and also to respect the rights of others to believe differently or not at all. Do you. John J. Sheridan" 

     A few years earlier Sheridan delivered a prepared speech [one he gave to all his new commands] to initiate his new assignment onboard Babylon 5" It follows: 

    "It was an early earth president, Abraham Lincoln, who best described our situation. 'The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise to the occasion. We cannot escape history. We will be remembered in spite of ourselves. The fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honor or dishonor, to the last generation. We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, or last best hope for Earth.'" [Episode "Points of Departure"]

My Turn: We Didn't Need the Past — Or So I Thought

Once I gave up the fear of losing my daughters, I better understood the family who had let them go.

By Meredith Resnick


July 3-10, 2006 issue - Last year my husband and I were in St. Petersburg, Russia, meeting the family who had given up our daughters for adoption. I didn't want to go. I didn't want my daughters to go either.

Olya and Anya, who had recently turned 18 and 15, hadn't visited since we'd taken them from the detsky dom, or children's home, five years before. It was only after we had flown to Russia and signed them out that we learned that although their father had died and their mother was unable to care for them, they did have family--a rather extensive one for two kids who were supposedly orphans. Not one grandma but two; an uncle, and Dima, the half brother who was too old to be adopted.

The social worker told us their Russian relatives had given up the girls because it was best for the family financially. We'd fallen for these two blond sisters during their brief visit to the United States as part of a dance troupe sponsored by the adoption agency, and we were committed to adopting them. Now I was about to find out to what emotional depths such a commitment could take me.

At home in California, the girls settled into school and began to make friends. But then, from some of their relatives overseas came sad phone calls pleading for money and anxious letters begging them to visit. Olya and Anya felt helpless. The money we sent never seemed to be enough; there was always another problem to solve. Neither my husband nor I understood Russian, so the responsibility of communicating fell squarely on the girls--who were 10 and 13.

If the problem of their Russian family weighed heavily on the girls' minds, it felt like a ton of bricks on mine. I worried that the girls loved them more than me. We'd known other adoptive families who intercepted letters from Russia, claiming their kids felt caught between two worlds. I'll admit, sometimes I wanted to cut all ties myself. Olya and Anya were my daughters now. As far as I was concerned, we didn't need the past.

The girls felt otherwise. They begged for a trip to Russia. They needed to go back, I understood, to bridge the gap between past and present. My husband and I decided we would go, too, in case something traumatic happened. We'd be there to wipe away their tears or drag them back onto the plane in case they didn't want to leave.

The night we arrived in St. Petersburg, Olya telephoned her family about having all of us get together. One after the other hesitated. "I don't know," Dima said. "Maybe tomorrow or the next day," one grandmother said. The other grandma was unreachable. They had all known we were coming. The girls were near tears.

I'd been so afraid of becoming an outsider that it hadn't occurred to me that their relatives might be harboring a similar fear. "Call Grandma back," I told Olya. "Tell her it will just be the two of you."

Olya cocked her head at me. "Are you sure, Mom?"

I took a deep breath. "I am."

The next morning my daughters were silent as our driver careered across the potholed streets toward the outskirts of the city. Their grandmother's apartment building was soot-covered, with broken windows patched in a mosaic of plywood. In a first-story window, a heavyset woman looked up from the kitchen table. When the girls saw her, they rushed across the mounds of snow, up the stairs and into her apartment. As if watching a movie, I saw her fold my daughters into her arms, and it made me weep.

An hour later Olya emerged and waved for me. "Mom," she said. "You come first."

My husband squeezed my hand as I left the van. I entered the small, dark apartment. The grandmother stood like a child, crying, wringing her hands in her apron. I walked across the room and folded her into my arms. She exhaled unevenly, like gasps from someone who was drowning. Finally she whispered, "Spasibo." Thank you. Tears poured down her wrinkled cheeks. My daughters huddled around us, also with tears in their eyes.

"We would never have let them go," she said, and Olya interpreted, "except for the money. It is so expensive here." I hugged her tighter. How hard it must have been to love these two girls for so many years, then give them up in the hope that they would have a better life.

Back in the van I laid my hand on the cold window. The frost felt good on my fingertips. This wasn't my fantasy of what my fledgling family should look like, but what woman can say motherhood is what she expects? I was already planning our daughters' next visit--without me.

The girls leave for Russia in August. Arranging the trip for them has been a gift to myself as much as to my daughters. I never expected motherhood would feel like this, that I'd want to let go, that it would feel so right.

Resnick lives in Irvine, Calif.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13528589/site/newsweek/page/0/

I think I finally got it

Video: Def Leppard -- Animal

Def Leppard (Hysteria)

A wild ride, over stony ground
Such a lust for life, the circus comes to town
We are the hungry ones, on a lightning raid
Just like a river runs, like a fire needs flame
I burn for you

I gotta feel it in my blood whoa oh
I need your touch don't need your love whoa oh
And I want and I need
And I lust animal
And I want and I need
And I lust animal

Cry wolf, given mouth to mouth
Like a movin' heartbeat in the witching hour
I'm runnin' with the wind, a shadow in the dust
And like the drivin' rain, yeah, like the restless rust
I never sleep

[Repeat Bridge]
[Repeat Chorus]

Cry wolf, baby cry tough
Gonna hunt you like an, an, an, an, an, animal
Gonna take your love 'n' run

[guitar solo]

[Repeat Bridge]
[Repeat Chorus]

And I want and I need
And I lust animal
Take me, tame me
bite me your animal
Show me stroke me
Let me be your animal
I want, ooh yeah, animal

I know I've asked this question before but Where did all my passion go? I was watching VH1 Classic's The Making of Hysteria by Def Leppard and it dawned on me that I'm just drifting down the river of life. I'm avoiding making decisions because they mean a commitment to whatever it is that I decide to do.

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

Grey's Anatomy

The quote above encapsulates my feelings so well it's scary. Sooner rather than later you have to decide on what's best for you. You have to decide the direction that you want  your life to go on and if it's not the one that you would have preferred, then so fucking what? you made the best choice you had with the information available and without the magic crystal ball to support you.

Video: Def Leppard - Love Bites

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

Grey's Anatomy

Depending on the boundaries  you make you may or may not lead you to where you want to go but, and here is the harsh question, how do you know where do you want to go if you take no risks getting there? What's the point in seeking answers when you're afraid to ask the questions?

This is one of the things that bugs me to no end. I used to be ambitious with my career. I used to care about doing something that I'd enjoy long term at one place rather than hopping around from one job to another when things stop being to my liking.

Video: Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.



Another year gone by

Un año mas

En la Puerta del Sol como el año que fue
Otra vez el champagne y la uvas y el alquitran,
De alfombra estan.

Los petardos que borran sonidos de ayer
Y acaloran el animo para aceptar
Que ya pasõ uno mas.

Y en el reloj de antaño como de aaño en aaño
Cinco minutos mas para la cuenta atras.
Hacemos el balance de lo bueno y malo
Cinco minutos antes de la cuenta atras.
Marineros, soldados, solteros, casados,
Amantes, andantes y alguno que otro
Cura despistao.
Entre gritos y pitos los espaañolitos
Enormes, bajitos hacemos por una vez
Algo a la vez.

Y en el reloj de antaño como de aaño en aaño
Cinco minutos mas para la cuenta atras.
Hacemos el balance de lo bueno y malo
Cinco minutos antes de la cuenta atras.

Y aunque para las uvas hay algunos nuevos
A los que ya no estan echaremos de menos
Y a ver si espabilamos los que estamos vivos
Y en el aaño que viene nos reimos.

1, 2, 3 y 4 y empieza otra vez
Que la quinta es la una y la sexta es la dos
Y asi el siete es tres.
Y decimos adios y pedimos a Dios
Que en el año que viene a ver si en vez de un millón
Pueden ser dos.

En la Puerta del Sol como el año que fue
Otra vez el champagne y las uvas y el alquitran
De alfombra estan.

Years ago the song above used to be one of my "I'm in a crappy mood so you better leave me alone" songs yet now it's a reflective song.

Firedance (video above) is one of the reasons why I wanted to learn flamenco so bad.