Why the trip? Why now? Why a blog?

The Long Way Around
Dixie Chicks

My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses
In the same ZIP codes where their parents lived

But I
I could never follow
No I
I could never follow

I hit the highway
In a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel

I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow

By takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around
Takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to

No I
I could never follow
No I
I could never follow

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm gettin' it back on the road now

But I'm takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around
I'm takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around

Oh, I just take my time I won't lay down
And take the long way 'round

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I hurt myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I
I could never follow
No I
I could never follow

Well I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around
Takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around

 

There are questions that have to be answered. There are things that you have to do and that you should know better than to put off for as long as I have. There are people whom I haven't seen in such a long time to make me wonder if I really knew them or not.

What I've learned

Or The Pearls of Wisdom I've collected in 10 years

Lost Highway
Bon Jovi  (Lost Highway)

In my rearview mirror
My life is getting clearer
The sunset sighs and slowly disappears
These trinkets once were treasure
Life changes like the weather
You grow up, grow old or you hit the road 'round here
So I drive, watching white lines passing by
With my plastic dashboard Jesus, waiting there to greet us

Hey, hey, I finally found my way
Say goodbye to yesterday
Hit the gas there ain't no brakes on the lost highway
Yeah I'm busting loose, I'm letting go
Out on this open road
It's independence day on this lost highway

I don't know where I'm going
But I know where I've been
Now I'm afraid of going back again
So I drive, years and miles are flying by
And waiting there to great us
Is my plastic dashboard Jesus

Oh patron saint of lonely souls
To tell this boy which way to go
Guide the car, you got the keys
Farewell to mediocrity
Kicking off the cruise-control
And turning up the radio
Got just enough religion
And a half tank of gas come on, let's go

I finally found my way
Say goodbye to yesterday
Hit the gas there ain't no brakes on the lost highway
Yeah I'm busting loose, I'm letting go
Out on this open road

It's independence day on this lost highway

There are a lot of things that I've realized or that I've actually thought outloud and articulated into a coherent statement of what I have learned, what I want and, I think most important, what i don't want from the people I work with and the people I work for.

This is an ongoing post. As I learn more or decide to write more of what I learn down, this post is going to continue to grow. It may be moved to the top

What I want

  • If people say no then try to understand why they are saying no and don't just slam them because they are not doing what you want them to.

  • I want a team where there's open communication, not this sniping and trying to take control situation. Sometimes work calls on you to be an isolated individual and that's fine, but don't let that become the only way you do work

  • I want to foster a team-culture of openness, backing each other up and accountability

  • Openness: It's ok for you to tell a coworker when they made a mistake and hope it'll taken in the constructive spirit it was offered. Egos have a limited role in a team.

  • Corollary 1 to openness: Be sure you offer criticism in a constructive way.

  • Corollary 2 to openness: Accept criticism without being defensive, the SOB is not trying to get you, he's trying to help

  • Corollary 3 to openness: Be available to talk to those around you. If you are seen as approachable it'll be easier to keep lines of communication open

  • Back each other up: If you are a team it should be perfectly ok to look over each other's shoulders and double check each other's work. We are all part of this process and it affects all of us when something doesn't work out the way it should

  • Corollary 1 to back each other up: You have to know enough to back your team mates up

  • Corollary 2 to back each other up: Delegation should not mean that you're not ready and willing to do your part in the team effort 

  • Accountability: If you screw up assume the reasonability for doing so.  A team should be supportive of honest mistakes but not tolerant of lazy mistakes

  • Corollary 1 to accountability: It's ok to screw up, as long as you learn from your mistakes

  • Corollary 2 to accountability: It's starts with you. If people see that you work hard to be and remain accountable they will want to follow you and do the same.

  • Keep communicating with those around you and actually act upon those things that are important to those around you. (Most) People don't bitch just for the hell of it but feel that they have a valid reason to complain so it's your job to, at the very least, investigate their issues are and attempt a resolution

  • Be quick to praise and slow to criticize (see Corollary 1 and 2 to to openness above)

  • Don't expect of others which you're not ready to do yourself

  • Listening is an art. Become a listening artist

  • Compromise is not always bad, just don't make a habit out of it.

    What I don't want

  • If you're working on a team then do so and don't try to take over by stating what you want done and then expecting it to be done

  • I don't want conflict to spiral out like it has this time around.  If I have to become involved in conflict then I have already failed in resolving the issue.

  • Sure as hell I don't want to be the one carrying a team, either technically or in terms of communication. I think that's what I'm most upset about the review for this last period.... I can't care what other people's reviews are, my review was unfair from my perspective as it laid a lot of the weight on me in terms of my ability to communicate.

  • I don't want a position where there is no growth.  I don't want to feel stagnant and have to initiate my own projects to keep myself current in the technology

  • Enjoy life for it is all that it was intended for

    After all of the battles are over,
    After all of the fighting is done,
    Will you be the one
    To find yourself alone with your heart?
    Looking for the answer.

    Lonely Soldier Boy -- Michael Bradley

    I did something unusual yesterday. Since I had to go to the mall to return a phone (long story there) I decided to go to Outback and have dinner... they are expensive but damn their steaks are good. It was a leisure dinner, very much unlike what my eating habits usually are (you know, 15 minutes dinner and a sandwich for dinner when I remember)  and it was tons of fun 🙂

    Happiness is such a fleeting thing. The trick is to be the happiest you can right now because it may be gone just as quickly as you gained it to begin with... That's the key, finding someone whom you can treasure your happiness with, someone who is as ready to give of themselves as they are to take from you. 

    I think one other thing that I need to concentrate energies where they are going to do the most for me; not for the team or the university, but just me. I don't have to worry about work as long as I do what's expected of me and those expectations are made clear from the get-go.  Beyond that I am looking for a good position to be in. There is no room for growth and learning and I don't want to have to deal with assholes on a regular basis.... Yes, I know that's unavoidable but you can manage the situations to where you don't have to take the heat or the bullshit. 

    One of the things that really annoy me is when people start throwing their weight around without regard to the people they are working with or what their feelings are.

    Gotta keep reminding myself that people are not against you but just our to cover their own asses.  That and knot knowing what the "big picture" makes it suck even worse.

    I have to keep moving on. If I stop now the whole shitload of trouble is going to hit me full force and without warning.  I've learned a lot about what I want and about what I don't want as a friend, worker, follower and leader... I'll take the experiences with me no matter where I go 😀

    TFB that it won't be here in Chico.

    AS much as I've seesawed over the choice I think it's time to really accept the fact that you've run your course at Chico. No matter what happens the job, the University and the city are no longer what you're looking for.  I mentioned elsewhere in one of my past reviews that there is no possibility for professional growth.  I should have listened to my instincts and my hear when they both told me on their own way that it was time to move on

    Shadow of the day
    Linkin Park

    I close both locks below the window.
    I close both blinds and turn away.
    Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple.
    Sometimes goodbye’s the only way, oh.

    And the sun will set for you
    The sun will set for you.
    And the shadow of the day,
    Will embrace the world in gray,
    And the sun will set for you...

    In cards and flowers on your window,
    Your friends all plead for you to stay.
    Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple.
    Sometimes goodbye’s the only way, oh.

    And the sun will set for you,
    The sun will set for you.
    And the shadow of the day,
    Will embrace the world in gray,
    And the sun will set for you.

    And the shadow of the day,
    Will embrace the world in gray,
    And the sun will set for you.

    And the shadow of the day,
    Will embrace the world in gray,

    And the sun will set for you.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    That's what I need to start working towards now. A life where the challenges are formed around what I want, not what other people think I want and,most fucking definitely, not what they want to get through me. I'm totally ok with the way that things worked out yesterday with this one particular asshole. I'm just regretting that I have to meet with him and other people this afternoon on a completely unrelated matter.

    Again I am reminded of what I don't want to be as a leader or manager:

    • If people say no then try to understand why they are saying no and don't just slam them because they are not doing what you want them to.

    (This is probably go into another post, there are a lot of things to be gleaned of my last 3 years in Chico and I don't want to clutter this post with that and make it neverending)

    So I think it's safe to say that after all I wrote the conclusion for this posting is: Enjoy life and be ready to move on. You ran your course here in Chico and you owe it to yourself to find something that will make YOU happy