Changes

It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)
R.E.M

That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane -
Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn -
world serves its own needs, regardless of your own needs. Feed it up a knock,
speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height,
down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for
hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies
breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered
crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population,
common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its
own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright
light, feeling pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower.
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn.
Lock him in uniform and book burning, blood letting.
Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate.
Light a candle, light a motive.
Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush.
Uh oh, this means no fear - cavalier.
Renegade and steer clear! A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies.
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite.
Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.
Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic,
slam, but neck, right? Right.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...fine...

Sure as hell change is scary! But it's in that scariness that I find my mental health and peace of mind. I started my application to UGA's PhD program in IT.... I can hear the gallery crying "It's about fucking time." And it is but now I'm 100% into it and nothing will stop me from getting there.  Application is done, all I need is to contact the department to make sure that I'm sending the right information to the right  people. I'm also applying to USU's Doctoral Program in IT as an insurance measure and for the additional challenge.

This is my way of telling my instincts that I'm sorry for not having paid attention to them and to my brain to say it's time to start the next challenge.

I'm also starting to think beyond the PhD programs I'm applying to now. I have to be optimistic about getting accepted to at least one of the schools above. But I also have to be realistic enough to know that I may not.  In that case I may just go for a doctoral degree at Berkeley's School of Information or maybe a doctorate in curriculum studies and teacher education at Stanford and take it from there.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

Steve Jobs' Comencement @ Stanford

It is so freeing and relaxing to be in this situation! I think it's the first time in months that I can relax and not worry about what's coming next, at least until I take the GRE in June 🙂