Enjoy life for it is all that it was intended for

After all of the battles are over,
After all of the fighting is done,
Will you be the one
To find yourself alone with your heart?
Looking for the answer.

Lonely Soldier Boy -- Michael Bradley

I did something unusual yesterday. Since I had to go to the mall to return a phone (long story there) I decided to go to Outback and have dinner... they are expensive but damn their steaks are good. It was a leisure dinner, very much unlike what my eating habits usually are (you know, 15 minutes dinner and a sandwich for dinner when I remember)  and it was tons of fun 🙂

Happiness is such a fleeting thing. The trick is to be the happiest you can right now because it may be gone just as quickly as you gained it to begin with... That's the key, finding someone whom you can treasure your happiness with, someone who is as ready to give of themselves as they are to take from you. 

I think one other thing that I need to concentrate energies where they are going to do the most for me; not for the team or the university, but just me. I don't have to worry about work as long as I do what's expected of me and those expectations are made clear from the get-go.  Beyond that I am looking for a good position to be in. There is no room for growth and learning and I don't want to have to deal with assholes on a regular basis.... Yes, I know that's unavoidable but you can manage the situations to where you don't have to take the heat or the bullshit. 

One of the things that really annoy me is when people start throwing their weight around without regard to the people they are working with or what their feelings are.

Gotta keep reminding myself that people are not against you but just our to cover their own asses.  That and knot knowing what the "big picture" makes it suck even worse.

I have to keep moving on. If I stop now the whole shitload of trouble is going to hit me full force and without warning.  I've learned a lot about what I want and about what I don't want as a friend, worker, follower and leader... I'll take the experiences with me no matter where I go 😀

TFB that it won't be here in Chico.

AS much as I've seesawed over the choice I think it's time to really accept the fact that you've run your course at Chico. No matter what happens the job, the University and the city are no longer what you're looking for.  I mentioned elsewhere in one of my past reviews that there is no possibility for professional growth.  I should have listened to my instincts and my hear when they both told me on their own way that it was time to move on

Shadow of the day
Linkin Park

I close both locks below the window.
I close both blinds and turn away.
Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple.
Sometimes goodbye’s the only way, oh.

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you...

In cards and flowers on your window,
Your friends all plead for you to stay.
Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple.
Sometimes goodbye’s the only way, oh.

And the sun will set for you,
The sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you.

And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you.

And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,

And the sun will set for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's what I need to start working towards now. A life where the challenges are formed around what I want, not what other people think I want and,most fucking definitely, not what they want to get through me. I'm totally ok with the way that things worked out yesterday with this one particular asshole. I'm just regretting that I have to meet with him and other people this afternoon on a completely unrelated matter.

Again I am reminded of what I don't want to be as a leader or manager:

  • If people say no then try to understand why they are saying no and don't just slam them because they are not doing what you want them to.

(This is probably go into another post, there are a lot of things to be gleaned of my last 3 years in Chico and I don't want to clutter this post with that and make it neverending)

So I think it's safe to say that after all I wrote the conclusion for this posting is: Enjoy life and be ready to move on. You ran your course here in Chico and you owe it to yourself to find something that will make YOU happy