One of the worst week ever @ Chico

One Little Victory
Rush (Vapor Trails)

A certain measure of innocence
Willing to appear naive
A certain degree of imagination
A measure of make-believe

A certain degree of surrender
To the forces of light and heat
A shot of satisfaction
In a willingness to risk defeat

Celebrate the moment
As it turns into one more
Another chance at victory
Another chance to score

The measure of the moment
In a difference of degree
Just one little victory
A spirit breaking free
One little victory
The greatest act can be
One little victory

A certain measure of righteousness
A certain amount of force
A certain degree of determination
Daring on a different course

A certain amount of resistance
To the forces of the light and love
A certain measure of tolerance
A willingness to rise above

As I sit here in my EDCI 601class I'm reflecting on this past 7 days and how wrong I was in what I thought was the world around me at work. I know what you're thinking... he's exaggerating and it wasn't anywhere near as bad as he's painting  it out to be... you may be right, in some areas it was ok, in some areas it was good but in some areas it wasn't only my worst week at Chico but one of my worst weeks ever at any job.

I've never liked performance reviews as a structured event. If feedback and review are going to be effective then it has to be ongoing and meaningful. I had to read my performance review about 5 times before I could go through it without getting upset and pissed off about it.  It not only paints my job in a different light but it also colors my perception of my (now former) supervisor in a way that I am really surprised.

In the end
Linkin Park (Hybrid Theory)

(It starts with)
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

The second version of the performance evaluation was even more shocking than the initial one.  I don't know if they were things that I missed on the first review or stuff that was added in the revision.... but it almost made me quit, no questions asked, right there, right then

It hasn't all been bad... this whole fiasco has made me think hard as to what I am looking for and what I expect both as an employee and as a leader. Management styles change considerably from person to person and with them come the assumption that staff will change to fit the manager rather than meeting half way.