Morning falls like rain into the city life
There goes another night
Losing my breath in waves
Knowing that every crash is bleeding the hourglass
and taking the strife from all our lives

Everyone keeps talking
They promise you everything
But they don't mean anything

We may loose our focus
There's just too many words
We're never meant to learn
And we don't feel so alive

So goodbye, these days are gone
and we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Though these hard times
Through these hard times

Move your hands in circles
Keeping me hypnotized
The power behind your eyes
Move around your bedroom cursing the naked sky
You should be here tonight
But you stay alone and cry

Say goodbye, these days are gone
and we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
(whoa) There's something missing
(Oh whoa) You'll never feel it but you
(Oh whoa) You're gonna feel it when it's gone
When it's gone

Say goodbye, these days are gone
and we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
(hey) these Hard times
(oh no now) Hard times
Hard times

Say goodbye, these days are gone
Say goodbye, these days are gone
These days are gone

This entire line of thought started when I went to Stanford instead of coming down directly to Mountain View like I had planned.... You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men... it was relaxing and eye opening to see how much Stanford has changed. Change is the only constant of life and something that you'd do well to remember it.

As a boy I drooled twice over a Ferrari  F430 parked in the shopping center. But as cool as that was it wasn't the main thing that I got out of the trip to Stanford.  That gold medal goes to a realization:

One of the things that I need to do is to redefine what friendships are, how they work and what I am ready or willing to offer as part of the deal... It may be a drastic change, it may be a life altering change or it may be as simple as clearing my own expectations when I offer friendship; do I really want just a friend or something more and be clear about it from the get go, both with myself and with the other person involved.

As a second realization comes the fact that I want out of California.  Georgia sounds like such an attractive position because it is not in California.... In a way I am glad not to have heard from CSUS because it would have meant more of the same... same political bullshit, same closeness/insurmountable distance to the people I care about and the same indecision about what is it that I want to do.

While it's true that people can and do change, it is also true that change is always easier where you can redefine yourself completely.

This old heart of mine
Rod Stewart

This old heart of mine been broke a thousand times.
Each time you break away, feel youre gone to stay.
Lonely nights that come, memories that go,
Bringing you back again, hurting me more and more.
Maybe its my mistake to show this love I feel inside,
cause each day that passes by
You got me never knowing if Im coming or going
But I love you, yes I do.
I love you; this old heart weeps for you.

I try hard to hide my hurt inside.
This old heart of mine always keeps me crying.
The way you treat me leaves me incomplete.
Youre here for the day, gone for the week.
But if you leave me a hundred times,
A hundred times I'll take you back.
Im yours whenever you want me;
I wanna shout about it, tell the world about it
cause I love you; this old heart weeps for you.
I love you, yes, I do.

Maybe its my mistake to show this love I feel inside,
cause each day that passes by
You got me never knowing if Im coming or going
But I love you, yes I do.
This old heart weeps for you.
I love you; this old heart weeps for you.
I love you; yes I do.
I love you; this old heart weeps for you.