. . . . But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
. . .
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
. . .
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything... all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
Steve Jobs Commencement Speech @ Stanford
What are my heart and my intuition (Brain and Guts) telling me? after today I'm not so sure.... I had an interesting conversation with Tim today about identifying the causes for being angry and pissed off. I was only half surprised that trust issues flowed up the current. What did surprise me though is how unfulfilled I am right now.... I'm upset that I have to take vacation time to go to TTIX (less than I was when I learned about this but still plenty), I am upset that I can't use my laptop for work (at least for a subset of the reasons I was given.
Now that you've identified the problem, what do you do?
What did surprise me though is how unfulfilled I am right now....
Find something that you think will fulfill you professionally and go for it. Doesn't have to be at work, it may be something else, but don't settle. If something doesn't change or doesn't move fast enough move onto something else or push for it to move faster
It doesn't have to be work related. When you're done with school think about writing for Battlecorps. Something you've always wanted to do but always procrastinated. You know you can get it done if you get your mind to it and that it'll be the realization of a long-held dream that would make you a published author 🙂
I'm upset that I have to take vacation time to go to TTIX
The flipside to having to take vacation is that you have complete freedom. You're leaving a day early to go to Park City and still be able to make it to the pre-conference workshop that I want to go to. I can speak my mind freely without committing Chico State to any course of action that hasn't been approved.
There were some presentations in the conference program that also take a look at online community building. Since that's what I want to do for my PhD work (if I'm accepted) it makes sense to go and learn about what I want to do before I actually have to do it, doesn't it?
I am upset that I can't use my laptop for work (at least for a subset of the reasons I was given)
Worry about what you can control and don't stress over those things you can't. You were given instructions you don't like.... Tough, you have to deal with it and move on. No time to dwell on what you perceive are the facts. Add another learning experience to your "if I ever have to lead a team" playbook.
Takeaway and related plans (in no particular order)
Get done with class work. That is my first and unconditional priority
Download the battlecorps writers guidelines
After I'm done with the GRE outline, draft, draft again, and submit at least 1 story to Battlecorps before the end of summer. I think I have an idea... outline it and see
- Top Gun Extended Soundtrack
- Linkin Park
- Second Foundation
- Bred for war (Old School Battletech)
- Trying to write a paper and failing miserably but it's not due till Sunday
- NCIS (New and Reruns)