"Amy was definitely a dreamer.
I remember all the stories she used
to tell me about her travels & where she
planned on being in her life, when she turned
27yrs. By far, it's the spiritual power of our
Dreams that causes us to journey deep
into the point of travelling..."
Orirginal Picture: Photo 52/200: Dreams
I find myself in that grey land that is not work, is not school, is not really life as I envisioned and is not where I can get the balance I thought I wanted or needed.
When I was in Chico I thought I was happy and in some areas I was but in others, the ones that ended up being those that really count, I was not happy and didn’t want to be ready for change and paid the price for it… I’m still paying it.
To accomplish great things, we must
not only act, but also dream;
not only plan, but also believe.
Would I do anything different? I don't think so. It's hard to look at things in hindsight and say yes I would have done this or no I wouldn't have. You have to be in the moment to be able to make those kinds of choices.
I used the travel metaphor for this post because I am travelling in many different directions and want to travel in many more still. Some of these trips are metaphorical, like traveling in a new direction with school and career, or moving on with relationships or lack thereof. There is a more literal aspect to travel as well… I want to go back to Chile in the next couple years, maybe to do the Triathlon in Pucon as I mentioned elsewhere.
It’s also a matter of getting everything squared away for what I want to do or as squared away as I’m going to be able to with the whirlwind of life I’ve chosen to live.
I need to get a job so I can generate the income for the stuff I want such as scuba gear and lessons, better tri gear (maybe a couple years down the line get the Blue T17 bike that I’ve been dreaming of), being able to travel to events either by getting my drivers license and buying a car or renting one for when I need it… and do all this without being a drain on mom.
I need to get emotionally settled, both in terms of relationships and in terms of balance between work, school and training. Right now I’m one-track-mind with fundraising and training for Pac Grove but then I seriously have to think about what comes next. Do I want to stay with Team in Training until my Iron Man or do I want to move to a Tri Club such as TRIbe or SVTC?
Another metaphorical travel is that which I’m undertaking in my career change. It’s scary as all hell not to have the safety blanket of something to fall back on… If I make the change then it’s a clean sweep, no regrets and no looking back.
"I really can not explain this
photograph to you. Her name was
Yuki & she was from Brazil. It was early
in the morning & I can not recall why I
had my camera with me or why I was even
at the hostel that day. I guess, my overall
Point of View is just another reason
behind the point of travelling."
Original Image: Photo 48/200: Point of View.
I’ve said it before… I’m starting to feel old. That’s part of the reason why I want to travel metaphorically and literally. We had this conversation at church this morning and we all came to the conclusion we’re getting old. Getting old is only part of the but the real point that’s been really bugging me for a while. I’ve said it before: I’m the only one from my group of high school friends who is still single.
Part of me still say don’t settle, stay single until you find someone who is really worth your time. The other part says that you don’t really have the time to be choosy, you’re 35 this year and you’re much closer to 40 than you are to 21 and that’s starting to eat at me.
Prime Mover Rush (Hold your fire) Basic elemental instinct to survive Stirs the higher passions Thrill to be alive Alternating currents in a tidewater surge Rational resistance to an unwise urge Anything can happen... From the point of conception To the moment of truth At the point of surrender To the burden of proof From the point of ignition To the final drive The point of the journey is not to arrive Anything can happen... Basic temperamental filters on our eyes Alter our perceptions Lenses polarize Alternating currents force a show of hands Rational responses force a change of plans Anything can happen... From a point on the compass To magnetic north The point of the needle moving back and forth From the point of entry Until the candle is burned The point of departure is not to return Anything can happen... I set the wheels in motion Turn up all the machines Activate the programs And run behind the scene I set the clouds in motion Turn up light and sound Activate the window And watch the world go 'round From the point of conception To the moment of truth At the point of surrender To the burden of proof From the point of ignition To the final drive The point of a journey Is not to arrive Anything can happen...
Anything can happen and, sometimes, that’s good.
I am changing too, yet another travel adventure, into someone who can work towards a goal without regards to the obstacles that are placed in my way; someone who can push regardless of pain and discomfort but who, at the same time, is aware enough of his body to know when he’s pushed too hard.
I’ll post it elsewhere but I have my intended schedule for triathlons through Summer 2010. Yet more travels 🙂
Original Image at: http://www.photohype.com/HappySnaps-Kabul1.htm
I wanted to close with the picture above and by repeating part of the lyrics to Prime Mover:
From the point of entry
Until the candle is burned
The point of departure is not to return