What makes me happy?

That's such a loaded question… what area of life? what conditions? who with?

The idealist me is happy when he knows he made a difference. Did I do something that I'm proud of? Did I take risks? Did I explore the paths that people didn't think were wise? Did I challenge myself to something that goes beyond my control and that stretched me personally and professionally?

The day started gloom (110713)r but someone brightened it and made me happy without realizing it. I don't know him well enough but he doesn't strike as the kind of person who offers references out of the blue… it made me feel good that he did.

The materialist me is happy when he can get the toys he want without having to worry about where the money for the toys is coming from.

I tend to be very challenge driven. I want a challenge and I want the satisfaction of having beat a challenge. Does it make me happy? I guess that's one way to put it. I guess it's more the journey that makes me happy… did I learn something? Did I make a difference?

I, breathe in deep
Sleep till the sunlight washes in
And the smell of skin throws light up into my face
I can breathe when you're near to me
I could dream when I see the sunlight on your face
And the touch of you throws light on the darkest place

Breath in deep -- Armin Van Buuren

I hadn't thought about my friends in a while. I miss them, or rather, I miss the friends I left in '94… Poem 20 quote about change We of that time are no longer the same and I have to accept that any possible trip back to Chile may or may not be what I expect.

so now back to happiness. I think I need time to define what happiness is. Right now 'm happy to be moving on, the stress level was getting out of hand and I'm not in a mood or disposition to continue working on this environment.

I'm looking at my mountain and find myself wondering where I need to go and what part of me will take over and pursue its own definition of happiness.