2014: where I've been and where I'm going
When the bad things happen is hard to accept that despite the shit that happens I've had a very good year. Despite the frustration of not making it past screen/interview multiple times I hve to accept that i've made it that far... that I was good enough to get through the initial selection and make it to screen/interview.
It's always easier to whine about what you don't have and not be thankful for what you do have. That needs to change.
Since I left my prior life
It's been 13.5 months since I quit my stable job at FireEye.... I could say I regret it but I most definitely don't. The situation and circumstances were right for me to leave and some of the attitudes happening afterwards only confirmed them for me.
What has happened since I left? I've learned to code again, I've built projects with what I've learned and I've made friends and built relationships that will last me a long, long time. I stood by my convictions and they've held me in a mostly good place.
Learning and (re)learning
I've had to (re)learn patience. I've (re)learned to go for what I really want and not for whatever comes first. I've (re)learned that things don't always go the way you want them and for the first time in years I'm ok with that. I've said it before but the years are piling up and with them the realization that revenge is the most toxic of drugs... you may hurt the other person but only at the cost of your own integrity and your own moral compass.
Part of this learning process has been not to splurge both emotionally and financially. The few times I broke this rule I got smacked hard and I'm not ready to deal with that kind of crap again.
It also has to do with whether I want to deal with choosing between what's available and what I want to do. The 4th decade hasn't hit yet, at least it hasn't hit me as hard as turning 30 did, but it makes me think harder between doing things because I want to and do things because I feel obligated to.
The difference between being lonely and being alone
I have to keep learning this, usually after another busted relationship, but this year I want to do something different. I want to not let the need for relationships make me rush into one but let it happen as it may or may not.
Reconnectin with friends
YOu're awful at connecting and staying connected with your friends.
This is what I want to do for 2015... no particular order and no set priority. I want to do all this and I want to be held accountable... even if I have to make myself accountable.
Get a job I can be passionate about
Rather than follow mom's advice and get whatever jobs comes around I'll take my time and pursue things I'm interested in and can become passionate about. Whether this is short term, long term or contract I want to make sure that I can go in with the correct expectations.
Swim hard, swim fast and run somewhere
I've decided to concentrate on swimming for this year and, maybe, back it up with training for a (half)marathon with TNT. A lot of it will depend on who the coach is for te TNT run team but I think Iwant to get my TNT triple crown before I do Iron Team...
Get some of my code projects out in the open
Whether it's Athena or something else it's time to start promoting your projects and your ideas. Perhaps working on something to present at Fluent for next year (once the technologies in Athena get wider traction.)
Because why the hell not? Japanese is a very intriguing language and it ties to a lot of my interests and hobbies so why not learn the language.
Start a thankfulness journal
Rather than whine about what you don't have or about what makes you unhappy make it a point to write someting you're happy about or thankful for.
Plan Iron Team for 2016
I definitely want to kick the Ironman from my bucket list. I want to do TNT but I also need to be sure I can absorb the cost financially, and the effort in terms of work and balance.