The unbearable lightness of being (1)

I chose the title of Milan Kundera's novel that talks about love, change and the effects that change has on people as the title for periodic/sporadic series of reflections about change, love and the effect of change on people (me and those around me 🙂 ).

Nathan Looked over at Lucas.  Out of the mouth of babes, he thought. Change -- it comes for us all. Which is the better part of valor? To back away from new and dangerous things, invoking old promises? Or to remake the promises... and try to do better, be wiser the next time? ...

Seaquest The Novel

Parmenides posed this very question in the sixth century before Christ. He saw the world divided into pairs of opposites: light/darkness, fineness/coarseness, warmth/cold, being/non-being. One half of the oppositions he called positive (light, fineness, warmth, being), the other negative. We might find the division into positive and negative childishly simple except for one difficulty: which one is positive, weight or lightness? 

Kundera - The Unbearable Lightness of Being

There is one more of those dualities that I find hard to make into positive or negative: friends and enemies.  I have to admit that I have learned more from my enemies in the past few years than I have from my friends.  It was Sun Tzu who said "Know yourself and know your enemy and in a thousand battles you will be victorious." I've allowed myself to forget that; I chose confrontation (a necessary confrontation but that's another story) rather than trying to understand what the other person's POV was. Neither here or there but it's always good to realize that violence or aggressiveness is usually the last recourse

Mom says I have a hard time letting go of the past when I said I wanted to go to Chico. Details of why I want to go and what would I do when there don't really matter as much as it matters that I don't deal well with change.... or so my mom thinks.  The truth is that I still don't feel closure and that, way more than change, is what bugs me.   It also bugs me that while mom can understand the difference between the past and the present, she can't understand that because one aspect is past, doesn't mean that they all are; true I lost my job but does that mean that all the good things and people whom I met in Chico are done with because I no longer live there?